He’s like a child.

“Ugh I swear he can’t do anything.”

I had a client once; we’ll call her Jill.

Jill says to me, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done. When I ask him to do anything it’s this huge hassle, and he’s probably going to do it wrong anyway, so I just handle it. It’s like he’s completely unable to handle the smallest tasks.”

Me: “So, you said you’re a stay at home mom. What does he do for a living?”

Jill: “He’s an electrical engineer.”

Me: 😳

If you’re an over-helper like Jill (and me), you not only allow this disproportionate dependency, but NEED it.

Years ago, I left my therapist’s office in tears with an assignment to say one simple sentence to my husband.

I called him, worked up the nerve, and said what I couldn’t believe I had discovered about myself that day.

“I’m afraid that if you don’t need me, you won’t love me.”

This, of course, isn’t true.

But lies get to exist as truth until we can dig them up and look at them in the eye.

Ask yourself today, “if you didn’t feel needed, could you still feel loved?”

If not, we have some work to do, sis.